Complaint vs Criticism

Gottman's key distinction. A complaint addresses a specific behavior in a specific situation: "I was hurt when you didn't call last night." A criticism attacks the person's character or personality: "You're selfish and never think about me." Most complaints become criticisms by adding "you always" / "you never" / "what's wrong with you." Complaints are healthy and normal; chronic criticism is a horseman.

Origin

John Gottman