Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire
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Popularized by Emily Nagoski in *Come as You Are* (2015), building on Rosemary Basson's clinical research (~2000).
Popularized by Emily Nagoski in *Come as You Are* (2015), building on Rosemary Basson's clinical research (~2000). **Spontaneous desire:** arousal seems to emerge out of nowhere, without external stimulation (more common in men, but not exclusively). **Responsive desire:** arousal emerges in response to context, connection, or stimulation — you're not interested until something gets you interested (more common in women, but not exclusively). Neither is abnormal. The widespread belief that everyone should experience spontaneous desire causes significant distress in relationships where one or both partners are primarily responsive.
Origin
Emily Nagoski, 2015 (building on Rosemary Basson)
Sources
- Come as You Are — Emily Nagoski, 2015